22 Feb, 2010 - Cancer, One Year In
It is an anniversary that I do not really remember. Not like my wedding anniversary, or my children's birthdays. But I do remember making the call to my wife Cheryl, who was descending Mount Kilimanjaro, to tell her that the diagnosis we were waiting for was not the news we wanted to hear. According to my calendar, it was February 5th, 2009.

A whirlwind of appointments followed. Cheryl cut short her African trip in order to be home with me as I had my first CT scan, the initial meetings with the surgeon, oncologist and radiologist who would decide the treatment I would be undergoing, and all the preparatory work for the subsequent chemotherapy. There was work to deal with, my volunteer positions to consider and of course family and friends to break the news to. Throughout all of this I was learning how to cope with the news myself.

All of the typical reactions were there; denial, anger, self pity and whatever else one is supposed to experience when given such devastating news. A year in, honestly, it is hard to remember all the personal feelings and emotions. I do know there were a couple of monumental meltdowns. But on the whole I think I adapted a fairly positive approach to it all early on. The unconditional love and support I received from Cheryl, Meagan and Liam and the rest of my family and friends was huge factor in that.

I have been asked what has changed in my life since I was diagnosed. The immediate answer is fairly simple. Everything, absolutely everything and yet nothing, nothing at all. The everything is perspective. It is impossible to look at things without viewing them through the filter of being a cancer patient. The nothing is life itself. It goes on regardless. Where it gets complicated is trying to juxtaposition the two.

Having cancer sucks. Make no mistake about that. But it is what is it is, and for me that is not going to change. So at the least, I have a fix on it. I have put boundaries on it. And I can see what is outside of those boundaries, and what is outside is life. And in that life there is a lot of room to move and a lot of great stuff happening.

Over the last year Cheryl and I were able to meet with up Meagan in Montreal to watch Liam win silver in the U16 Canadian National Water Polo Championships. Cheryl and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary by absolutely spoiling ourselves with a stay at Montebello in Quebec and then slipped back into Ottawa for my cousin Bob and his wife Muriel's 25th wedding anniversary, which doubled as a marvellous family reunion. There was the RCC in June of course and then a summer with many weekends spent at the cottage and more trips to Ottawa to visit Meagan and even one to watch my niece Lindsay compete in her first triathlon. In December the four of us travelled back to Calgary to celebrate Christmas with Cheryl's sister Anne and aunt Lois. Most recently we bought a new house. And did I mention the day job? It is work but is challenging, fun and most importantly engaging.

So in my outer world, as my west coast friends, who are into these sorts of things much more than I am, call it, things are trucking right along. Life goes on, indeed. But what's happening with the inner world? At middle age am I wondering what the offerings are in the second half of life? Has surviving a year of cancer changed my view on let's call it what it is, getting old? Again the answers are fairly simple; no, not really and yes, absolutely.

Cancer is a word not a sentence. And I am trying to do my best to believe that I have not given up the reins of power to another source that is dictating how I live. Certainly all that has happened over the last year is an indication that I have kept things in control as well as can be expected. But the disease does pervade daily life and impacts all activities. Nothing really happens without considering how it is going to be affected by how I am feeling physically, my energy levels, and my mental attitude at the time. That has created a wave which has washed over the metaphysical ponderings of what the offerings of the second half of life may be.

There is simply far too much to think about in the shorter term than contemplate about whether I am giving up control of where I thought my life should be going. To paraphrase Gene Roddenberry, I am boldly going where no Paul Taylor has gone before or ever had the slightest notion he thought he would be going. And it is trip without GPS. Yes, all of the requisite affairs and important future planning have been put in order. And in a general sense I suppose things are still on track for where I thought I was taking my life. However from here on in, all the control I can exert over the direction of the rest of this journey is subject to the whim of Mother Nature. Life is what happens while you are busy making plans. Maybe it is best not to think too much about whether things are going to turn out the way one expected them to and just get on with enjoying the experience and trying to make it the best you can. Yes there are going to be ups and downs in year two of this new ride. But I've got the bull rope done up nice and tight. So open up the chute and let me see if I can do my eight seconds on this sucker.

by Paul Taylor on Mon, Feb 22, 2010 @ 9:20 PM

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01 Feb, 2010 - The Steeds in the Stable
So how many bicycles does it take to get through a 200 km ride? Well, barring any unforeseen or unfortunate situations it should only be one, which preferably has lots of training miles on it. But how many mechanical steeds does it take to get you to the start of the ride? Ask six different cyclists that question and be prepared to get up to six different answers. My stable of velocipedes stops at four. All of which will take an active part in the training to get me to the RCC start in on June 12th.

I have already mentioned my city bike which currently resides on the mag trainer in the basement gym and is the first line of training for this year. It is a 20 year old Rocky Mountain Fusion sausage fork mountain bike long ago converted to a city / pavement bike. It has been my commuter bike in Calgary, Vancouver, The Hague, and Toronto and has easily logged well over 20,000 kms. The only original parts left are the frame, fork, stem, bars and surprisingly both of the original Deore LX derailleurs and shift levers. It is my sentimental favourite of the bunch. Largely because it was my year round commuter bike for so long and has survived some of the hairiest and most exploratory riding I have ever done. Riding the frozen bike paths in Calgary in the middle of February at -25C on studded tires bonds you to your bike as does discovering a new country in a sunny, warm, gorgeous springtime riding cobblestone bike lanes on a fast set of slicks. When I moved to the Netherlands in 2000 the Fusion went with me on the plane and was my major source of entertainment in the eight months before my family moved over. What better way to discover a brand new country in which the bicycle is king. Ride till you are totally lost and then in very bad Dutch ask passing cyclists for directions home.

The Netherlands also connected me with what is the oddest bicycle in the stable which occasionally had other cyclists shouting out "luie ruiter" in Dutch at me as we passed on the paths. Why was I a lazy rider? Could be because I was stretched out on the bike in a reclining position with my feet out in front of me, my torso supported from hips to shoulder on an elongated foam covered carbon fibre seat complete with head rest and my arms comfortably extended to the handle bars. Rather than the typical upright cycling position I am basically lying on my back much as I would be on a very comfortable reclining chair. Think Lazy Boy but no TV.

The M5 Shockproof liegfiets is chromoly framed, fully suspended recumbent bicycle with a Campagnolo gruppo and 20 inch wheels. The front wheel is suspended by a head shock. A customized Rock Shock suspends the rear wheel. The ride is plush but quick, the drag coefficient being much less that a conventional road bike. Hills however are truly a quad workout. But it is a fun bike to ride especially in a country which has the best bicycle infrastructure I have ever experienced. Unfortunately here in Toronto the conditions are not quite the same and finding suitable places to ride it is difficult. I have seen braver souls riding recumbents on city streets here but I do not share the same death wish. With only a 40 cm seat height, sitting lower than most side view mirrors is not a safe situation on streets where, in my opinion, the bicycle is often regarded as an irritation by many drivers. And while Toronto likes to brag about its bike path network finding a more than a 20 km stretch of sustained bike path or quiet bike lane is impossible without being thrown into city traffic. So what's the answer? Ottawa! Miles and miles of bike paths, quiet bike lanes and much more enlightened drivers once you get out on the less travelled roads. The road trip is worth it. And there will be a few of those before June. This bike is just too much fun to ride in the right environment.

Yellow Bike is the newest one in the stable and it could be argued whether this steed has been rustled or not. It is another Rocky Mountain Fusion but much newer with an aluminium frame and shock front fork. I borrowed it from my niece Lindsay two years ago after discovering it unused in my sister's garage and after giving a good tune up just never gave it back. At only five foot three, negotiations for absolute ownership progressed to helping fund her entry into her triathlonling and getting her onto a very nice, properly fitted road bike rather than a heavy, eighteen inch frame mountain bike.

So why do I need it? Well you have to have something for single and double track riding don't you? We are quite fortunate to have a cottage a couple of hours north of Toronto that is surrounded by a thirty thousand acre wilderness reserve. The area is crisscrossed with hiking trails both old an new and single and double track access roads to numerous lakes, an ideal spot for a hard tail mountain bike. Rocks, roots, and mud make the trails great places to play with bike handling skills. The gravel, water ruts, and occasion washout on the tracks make for heart pounding ascending and adrenaline pumping descending. And as an added bonus there are the bugs. Clouds of black flies and mosquitoes in late spring and early summer. Deer and horse flies later on. Their added value? Concentration factor. If you can do hill repeats on a 1 to 2 km, 10% to 12% washboard grade in an angry cloud of blood thirsty aggression keeping enough contact on the front wheel to avoid crashing out on the way up and keeping your mouth closed to avoid a sudden intake of simple protein while dodging ruts, rocks, and potholes, on the way down, climbing and descending paved hills on skinny 700 by 23 mm road tires with a bunch of lycra clad roadies should be a piece of cake.

Finally, there is the road bike with the skinny tires that I will be doing the RCC on and consequently the one to get all the serious training mileage. Again it is an older bike like my city bike. Purchased almost 22 years ago it is a classic road geometry Columbus SLX chromoly frame with a Prestige rear triangle and a chromed Columbus SL fork. And again, like the city bike, those are about the only original parts. I use the analogy that it is the equivalent of a classic eighties Italian sports car. The body or frame has been custom painted to show off the classic lugged frame that is getting more difficult to find in the era of aluminium and carbon fibre frames. The original Campagnolo brakes, drive train and hubs have been upgraded to a twenty aughts Campy Chorus gruppo. Numerous saddles and handle bars have come and gone as ergonomics have changed. The new Speed Play pedals resemble lolly pops stuck into the end of the cranks.

A classic Ferrari perhaps? Maybe if the frame was labelled as a De Rosa, Colnago or Masi. However, when I had it repainted two years ago, I had to stay true to the original Bandiziol brand, a small Italian builder located in San Martino al Tagliamento. Because it is a lesser known name I am quite comfortable putting it in the Alfa Romeo category. It is as much blast to ride as our Alfa was to drive. And it does all come down to the performance of the engine that sits on the frame regardless of the label. I freely admit I am not a Ferrari. But I have forgotten how many triathlons, including one memorable Ironman, it has seen me through. In mileage it is very close to the City bike if not more. It didn't see a lot of Netherlands kilometres once the M5 was purchased. But there are thousands and thousands of racing, training, and randonnuering kilometres in the foothills and Rockies of Alberta and British Columbia that came before that. It is undoubtedly the thoroughbred in the barn.

So, four horses for courses or just blatant self indulgence? A guy has to have his toys. All the better if you can justify them.

by Paul Taylor on Mon, Feb 01, 2010 @ 10:09 PM

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24 Jan '10 - So What's the Plan Stan?
Fail to plan. Plan to Fail. Sounds a tad extreme. But past experience has proven to me that it is a whole lot easier to complete any sort of endurance event if you at least think you have prepared properly for it than knowing you are totally unprepared. Besides, isn't getting there half the fun?

So how to train for back to back 100 km bicycle rides starting at square one with a six month window to get ready. A hundred kilometre ride has in the past for me just been a long training ride. So mentally, there is no problem with going the distance. In fact just thinking about getting out on the bike for three or four hours generates a big smile and a lot of good memories of past rides. But the reality is that the body has to catch with the mind. Being down roughly 20 pounds body weight from last year's ride, when I had finally achieved what I thought was my ideal riding weight, is not necessarily a bad thing when you consider the physics. But a good portion of those 20 pounds is muscle mass and that translates to power and endurance on the bike. Three to four hours? Good luck! Are those pyjamas sticking out of your jersey pocket?

Assuming that everything is going to go well with the current chemo treatment and regressing to a liquid diet does not occur, food is going be a major factor in this training plan. Food and lots of it. Good food though. No use chowing down on junk that is going to cause a cardiac arrest on the first decent hill. Sounds easy but after being deprived of real food for several prolonged periods of time and living on a liquid diet of Ensure and protein shakes, rationalizing bagels and cream cheese, short stacks of pancakes, deli sandwiches, pasta with cream sauces, and chocolate sundaes is pretty easy. But it ain't going to help. No, diet and nutrition are going to important. "Eat food, not too much, mostly plants" will be the mantra at the core of the nutrition part of the overall training plan. Just defining what is food could be a study in itself. I was lent a cookbook called The Cancer Fighting Kitchen by an oncologist at the Canadian Naturopathic College Clinic this week which should be good start.

In conjunction with a new diet, I have been handed a golden opportunity here to build up lost muscle with a cycling specific weight training program. And the neat part about that is I will be following a program that I put together five years ago. But then I was trying to lose 20 pounds while training to become a better cyclist through weight training. Better to be building up to a really buff physique than trying to shrink down to one. Who says you can't find a silver lining if you look hard enough. And the protein shake after the work out is guilt free. There's no secret to the program. The focus is on the legs for strength and endurance but there is probably more arms shoulders and core work than one might expect. Holding a decent cycling form is much easier, and much less painful, over three to four hours with a strong upper body.

The unique thing about the program is that all the exercises that would normally be done on a bench are done with one or two stability balls. And any floor exercise is done on a bosu ball, flat side up. The core work out achieved while doing muscle specific exercises is amazing. My goal is to build up to fifty pound squats which is not a particularly heavy weight on its own. But when you are balancing on the flat side the bosu ball with the ball side down it is an entirely different world.

Right beside the free weights, stability balls and bosu ball in my little home gym is the mag trainer with my city bike mounted on it. The city bike is really just a mountain bike set up with slicks, road gearing and road positioning. It works well for getting back in the saddle so to speak. The work outs will be pretty easy for the next few weeks. Warm up until the "First there is a Mountain" riff is finished to get the heart rate up to sixty percent of max heart rate. Then increase the intensity and get up to slowly to seventy-five per cent of max to the end of Butch Trucks and Jai Johnny Johnson's dual drum solo and the beginning of Barry's bass bit. Then play with it going up into the eighty percent range and back down again through through Greg's B3 solo and Dicky and Daune's guitar solos. Then with the reprise of the "First there is Mountain" riff cool back down to under sixty per cent. Total time, thirty-three minutes eighteen seconds, the length of Mountain Jam off of the Allman Brothers Eat a Peach Album. Love that song!

After a few weeks of this not only will I be searching out new music on the iPod but the workouts will get serious enough that I will probably head for the North York YMCA to work out on the spin cycles there. I just take my aerobic and anaerobic workouts written out on index cards and the trusty iPod, Rush is always a good choice, and become a slave to my heart rate monitor for an hour or so. All of this until the weather is good enough to get on the road bike for some real riding. Early March would be good timing.

The final component of the training plan I have to go to class for. Five people one instructor. Very deceptive. I went to the first class in several months this past week and hurt more the day after than I did after the weight and cycle workouts I had done to date. And all I did was lie on a mat and do fundamental pilates exercises for an hour. Jennifer, the instructor, works your muscles and joints in way that weights and cycling do not, complimenting the other workouts perfectly. In fact based on the pilates I have done in the past with Jennifer, I don't stretch as much as I used to after a cycle workout. I do pilates exercises to release the tension from the muscles. It has become a very important part of the training plan. Even the use of stability balls rather than a bench for the weight work outs is an extension of pilates. It has become the glue that holds everything together for me.

I know everyone has their own opinions of what works and that there are as many options as there are opinions as to what should be in a good training plan. But this has worked for me in the past; so that's my story and I am sticking to it.

by Paul Taylor on Sun, Jan 24, 2010 @ 9:37 AM

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19 Jan '10 - A New Adventure
Thank you for wandering down to the bottom of my home page and boldly venturing onto my Ride to Conquer Cancer (RCC) Blog. This is going to be a new adventure for me as many people who supported me on the RCC last year have been asking how things have been going since then. So rather than responding by e-mail, SMS, RIM messaging, and old fashioned telephone calls, I thought I would take the plunge and start keeping a blog on my RCC website and encourage folks to drop into the website and check out what is going on.

If you have made it this far I will assume that you have already read my fundraising message for the 2010 ride and have a pretty good idea of what my current situation is. The fight continues. Training for the 2010 RCC is underway now and very humbling. Radiation treatment during October and another round of chemotherapy starting in December has taken its toll. There have been two weight work outs and one bike ride on the rollers this past week to kick things off. But the weights are very light and the cycling is pretty easy which is just as it should be. Check the ego at the door. This is the beginning of a six month training plan. The last bike ride or work out of any note was sometime back in September. Next week the regular pilates classes begin

In addition to the chemo therapy and training two additional things are happening. I have an appointment at the Canadian College of Naturopathic Medicine to look at naturopathic ways of mitigating the effects of chemotherapy. The goal is to find ways to increase my energy levels and gain back, in a healthy way, the twenty pounds I lost during the fall. The second thing is a getting a complete physical exam with my doctor to benchmark where I am now in terms of being physically fit and determine where I need to get to by June to do the 200 km RCC. As most of you know I am no stranger to riding this kind of distance but I really do feel like I am back at square one preparing for the 2010 ride.

The RCC is certainly the primary goal for this summer. And like last year it gives me a goal to shoot for that marks another huge victory over this thing called cancer. It also reinforces the fact that there is no value in questioning the reasons for being on this trip but to embrace it for what it is, be positive, and work toward the outcome that I want to get to. Easy things to say. But I have to think there may be bumps in the road to be negotiated before crossing the finish line in Niagara Falls in June 2010. But as with the bumps in the 2009 attempt they will be dealt with. There are going to be good days. There are going to bad days. And while in the overall picture it is not about the bike, the bike is certainly going to be a big motivator in having a holistic plan to reach the goal.

There is also a stretch goal for the summer if all goes well. But more about that in later instalments.

I really have no idea where this BLOG thing is going to go. But it should be fun. I enjoy writing and judging by last year's ride I was pretty consistent in keeping people up to date on how things were going via e-mail. There is also the cathartic aspect of writing on life. A little heavy perhaps for a Blog about a bike ride but there is a therapeutic aspect to it. Obviously I will respond to any questions I get as well from anyone who wants to know what is going on. I also have four team mates this year which should make the training even more fun. Everyone is really active getting ready for the ride in their own way.

Bob is out cross country skiing and snowshoeing when he isn't in the pool. Lindsay has turned into a gym rat and a killer on the stationary bike. Meagan walks half an hour in the Ottawa cold at six in the morning to go to spin class. Liam only goes to 5 water polo practices a week with a ten day training camp coming up in Florida. And I have, as mentioned, rediscovered my bicycle rollers, the weight room, and pilates class. All of this in preparation for getting out our bikes once the weather cooperates to start the real serious stuff.

You can check us all out by going to our team website at http://www.conquercancer.ca/goto/Team.Stormsurge
So welcome aboard. Buckle up and get ready for a six month roller coaster ride. Should be fun.

by Paul Taylor on Tue, Jan 19, 2010 @ 9:10 PM

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